April 4th, 2014

April 4, 2014

I am so sorry to have been gone away for so long. So much has happened since my last post I don't know if I can name them all.

But the fighting between hubby and I are and have been getting worse. His fuse is becoming shorter as is mine. I ended up in the local mental ward for a few days, so I could try and dig up what it was that was driving me to suicidal thoughts. Besides the financial stress of hubby loosing his job, and both of us looking at 5 years probation, the internal issues inside the two of us, fighting to survive the internal battle we both fight, it ended up boiling down stress, internal anger because I feel Im becoming more and more of what I don't want to be and the internal issues that my husband is fighting. But we have decieded to stick to our handfasting and our vows, and help each other with what we nee. Not the matieralistic things but the deeper things that will matter for years to come.

I have continued with counseling and a change in medications which... seem to be helping some days. I am still doing my schooling as it helps me feel progressive and it helps a little financially. Nani is continuing to push my buttons and her boundaries but with discipline, and repetitiveness it seems to be taking effect.  We have also started on working on potty training. She has her own potty and will sit on it but has yet to use it... we have pull ups for day time, and diapers for naps and bed times. We're learning the word potty... now if we can just get all of our ducks in the same sock.

For my husbands birthday I got him an Old English Bull Dogge, and I now have 2 Chihuahuas.  Im wanting to get the all registard as companion animals for us 3. They are an added bundleof laughter and play, as well as teaching Nani to be responsible.  I have her help me keep water and food for the chiahuahus, and to be gentle with them. So Judge is the bull dogge, Dredd is the male Chihuahua,   and Kate is the little girl Chihuahua. They are all so cute, and wonderful

But off to bed it is fom me. I love you all, and blessed be.

L.A.