What is it about recovering addicts that's makes their family members so un-willing to trust them again? Well let's see if I can't answer that for you. It's is a job to love some body unconditionally, we the family members take it upon ourselves, whether through blood or marriage to choose to love you unconditionally. But do not think for one moment that means you can just take our love and break it. Don't believe that you can take the trust you are given break it and then ask for more. See being a family member is a two way street. In order to continue receiving our unconditional love, and our trust; you must continue to not take it for granted. And that is why it is hard for us family members to be willing to trust addicted family members again. We did once, we will again. But first you must earn this trust. Otherwise what is the point of being family. While your busy using drugs and your family, we are trying to save you. Some of us win, but most of loose. In my case I lost. You may still be alive, but you have let your flame die. And what hurts the most is the thought that I once was the spark that had relighted your flame. So no. I do not trust you. I'm hurt, I am angry, I have no reason to trust you. Until you change that, that's how it will be.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Sunday, August 3, 2014
August 3, 2014
August 3rd, 2013
Well time sure does go by fast. Today two years ago I meet my husband today. There has been some adventures but good amd bad on the way. But were still fighting every day to push each other to grow, learn, and suceed in all we do.
Tomorrow our little girl turns two. I am sad, yet I am happy. I am sad because I won't be with her to celebrate her birthday. But I am happy because her papi and tutu tell me she's a good, smart, amazing little girl. My husband told me every day how aweaome I was doing, but I doubted my self. My theory is though if many people tell you its a duck, then it must not be a platypus. So its very wonderful to hear my parents tell me, that we did a great job. I'm proud of my little girl.
If all works as planned I at least will be with her for Christmas. Of course in this situation sooner is better, and both husband and I are best. But I've learned in life to take what your given and make the best of it. So please feel free to send positive energy, prayers, and blessings our way. Theres only $2, 000.00 and two people standing between my daughter and I. I will not let her go much longer without me.
Love and light my friends,
LA
